


Lost In Reality.

by RunawayWhispers



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ghosts, Grieving, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, M/M, Sad Ending, alternative universe, or - Freeform, up to you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 09:42:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15927827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunawayWhispers/pseuds/RunawayWhispers
Summary: Andrew has an unexpected visitor, urging him to face the truth.





	Lost In Reality.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hi hi. Hope you enjoy guys!

In the darkened living room, Andrew sat facing the truth of the night. The static buzzing from his TV wasn’t any help in clearing his thoughts, rather it fuelled his anger. His anger that despite all of his efforts, he couldn’t drink away.

The cans were strewn across the living room floor; enough to convince anyone a party had been thrown here mere hours before. But no. Andrew had been the one to empty each one, alone. 

It wasn’t easy. He never thought he would have admitted it, but he had grown accustomed to having a presence with him. Or at least, one presence imparticular.  
His eyes wondered downwards and settled on the wooden box to the left side of him. It was opened, with its contents littered around. Inside were momentous of tickets for Neil’s Exy games, tiny trinkets he had been given from the auburn-haired beauty and photos of them.  
One of the photos was harder to acknowledge than the others. It was of himself and Neil, smiling at each other in pure bliss. Andrew was on his knees, presenting a ring to the only man he would allow to mean anything in his life. Neil, above him was beaming. Neil never smiled. Until it came to Andrew.

That night, he had everything.

Tonight he had nothing.

With a huff of his reddened cheeks, he gulped down the last swig of the pisslike alcohol and threw the can backwards somewhere. He didn’t have time or patience to care where it had ended. All he wanted was another one. That, and to never wake up again.

His legs wobbly from his intoxication, he manoeuvred himself into a standing position and swayed. He felt the heaviness of his entire body, but he ignored it. He couldn’t find much care in himself to bother with his own life much more. So he moved, clasping at the wall beside him as he walked through the living room and into the kitchen. 

There, stood the fridge which had been emptied of all food. Andrew refused to restock it. He couldn’t stand the reality that if he did, it would mean admitting  
moving on, and Andrew refused to let go.

He grasped the six pack in his shaky hand and lifted them off the shelf, slammed the door shut and turned around. As he entered the living room the same way he had exited, he stopped in his tracks. His shoulders went stiff and his entire body was full of fury.

“You look like shit,” Neil said, sitting beside Andrew’s previous spot. In his fingers, was the photo. Neil was staring at it, expression unreadable.

Neil was typically a sign of safety for Andrew; his auburn hair that his fingers locked through, his lean body that could hold Andrew for hours, and his mouth, which Andrew spoke truth into. Truth nobody else would ever get the privilege of hearing.

Andrew stared at him with a burning rage. He stalked forward, coming to a halt just before Neil’s feet and stared down; like a lion cornering its prey. 

“What are you doing here.”

“Nice to see you too Andrew,” Neil responded with a grimace. He placed the photo tenderly on the carpet.

“Shut up.”

“We have to talk.”

Andrew threw the cans on the floor, taking note of how Neil’s body didn’t react at the sudden violent outburst.

“Everything you are is a lie,” Andrew spat as best he could while slurring. Hatred seeped through his words.

Neil paused at that, his eyes lifting to Andrew’s with a hurt he hadn’t shown in years.

Andrew took a sharp intake of breath as he saw them, almost crumbling at the thought of causing it. Then he remembered who he was, and who this imposter wasn’t. 

“I only want to speak the truth,” Neil sighed, leaning further back onto the sofa behind him. 

Andrew scoffed. He returned to the place he sat, refusing to allow a lie to win. “Speak,” he ordered, opening another can of beer and lifting it to his lips. “Or leave.”

Neil remained silent. He watched as the blonde buried his pain.

“Don’t shut them out,” Neil finally spoke, sighing as he balanced his head on his arm. “They’re trying to be there for you.”

“I don’t care.”

“They do,” Neil insisted. “Especially Aaron. He knows how hard this is. He understands this type of pain. He wants to be there for you.”

Andrew scowled. He had little time to focus on Aaron, or anyone for that matter. All he needed was beer and money; to buy more beer. The group were imbeciles to believe they were anything of use to him. He wanted to be rid of them all. To make them leave and let him rot in his own despair.

He gulped his drink down once more. His vision becoming blurred and his thoughts becoming hazy. His need to be alert and aware had died days ago. 

Andrew noted Neil’s fidgeting. It was a habit he had learned to love, but tonight it stirred up feelings he wasn’t ready to feel.

“Yes or no?” Neil asked, refusing to meet blonde’s eyes. 

Andrew’s curiosity spiked. He thought of the mess his life was in because of Neil. He had allowed himself a slice of a dream that wasn’t his to have and now he paid the consequences. Now his lesson was here to be learnt from.

“Yes.”

Neil relaxed, and leaned towards Andrews, resting his head on the blonde’s shoulder. He felt unusually cold, Andrew noted, and hated it.

“I’m sorry,” Neil sniffled, wrapping his arms around himself. “I’m sorry this is how it is.”

Andrew tensed. He drank his beer. He wouldn’t admit it, but he allowed himself to lean into Neil’s touch.

“Why are you here?” He asked, not wanting to hear the answer to his question.

“Are you going tomorrow?” Neil asked, shifting uncomfortably.

“Yes.”

Neil nodded, slowly.

“I’m here to tell you it wasn’t your fault.”

Andrew stiffened. 

“You need to know that Andrew. You can’t blame yourself.”

Andrew couldn’t push down the lump in his throat. His heart was hurting, and he felt himself becoming overwhelmed with emotion. He was so used to concealing it, refusing to allow anyone into his mind. When Neil had come along all those years ago, that had changed, and he become accustomed to trusting that Neil wasn’t someone he needed to hide from.

That had changed though, and now he felt lonelier than he had before.

The weight of Neil on his body was a lie, but he couldn’t help himself wanting to believe it.

“I broke my promise.”

“You can’t fight the inevitable.”

“I could have fought this-“

“You would have ended up where I am right now. It would have ended the same way for me regardless.”

Andrew hated how he knew Neil was right. 

He sucked in stale air.

“I miss you.”

“I know. I miss you too.”

With those words spoken, Andrew felt himself give in. A single tear drop rolled down his cheek followed by another, and another, until he couldn’t stop them. His body lurched as he choked on air, and he felt Neil hold onto his arm tightly. 

Everything was too much. And not enough.

“I don’t want you to go.”

Neil sniffled at his words, and turned, looking into Andrew’s eyes. “You’ll see me again,” he said, before furrowing his eyebrows as his hand grazed the blonde’s armbands. “But not before it’s time. Promise me.” 

Andrew stared at him as though he had been stabbed.

“Promise me Andrew,” Neil whispered, his voice like a breeze.

Andrew’s whimpered like a kicked puppy. “I promise.”

Together they sat in silence.

Neil shifted, removing his arm from Andrew and shuffling down onto the floor.

Andrew followed his lead. His body lowered itself, ignoring the way he felt dizzy as he moved, and settled himself behind him. Slowly, he snaked his hand around Neil’s body and pulled him closer.

The feeling of Nail body underneath his, the sight of his hair sprawled across his arm and the sound sounds of him breathing filled Andrew’s heart with longing. 

This would be their last time together, and they both knew it.

_

Andrew stared at the mirror in his bathroom. His eyes were sunken, his hair was tussled, and his body was slumped. He was merely an echo of the man he used to be. He hated how weak he looked. Worst of all, he hated how weak he felt.

A cough at the door frame interrupted his thoughts, and his head turned to see Aaron, suited up and looking at him.

Andrew noted the lack of pity in his eyes. Instead, it was understanding.

Aaron nodded and left, and Andrew knew it was time.

He hadn’t said thank you to Aaron, who had found him in a pile of empty cans, hungover and unprepared for the days events. His brother knew though. He heard the unspoken words loud and clear.

Andrew stalked down the stairs, and stood beside Aaron, who stared at the door intently. Silently, Andrew reached for the door and stepped outside. 

In front of him was the truth.

In front of him was a hearse, with Neil inside.


End file.
